Are You Adding Value To Others?

Many of us want to be considered special in the eyes of others and we want to be able to leave a legacy that others will be inspired by. One of the most natural cravings for us as human beings is to feel as though we have in some way affected other people's lives positively but whether we are successful or not will always lie in the opinion of others. How many of us have experienced someone telling us at some time or another in our life "look at what I've done for you" or maybe they didn't say it but they implied it. Whilst they firmly believe they have done something to help us, it is ultimately how they've left us feeling that mattered most. So just how do we know if we are adding value to others or just going through the motions?

This subject is simple in its understanding yet broad in its application and the great thing about it is we can start adding value to people wherever we are in life. We don't have to have a specific role and we don't need anyone's permission. Adding value to others is one of the most rewarding things to experience so just how do we do this so that we are effective? I'm sure you've heard the saying before "You can't give others what you don't have" well this is true at its very root. We add value to others by first adding value to ourselves and this concept although simple does what it says on the can. So often we are tempted to give people something we don't have because we feel it makes us look better. That old saying comes to mind "learn to walk before you run". However we must start somewhere and starting with the intention to add to others is the best place to start. Then having an insight on what it is you wish to add to others is important. It isn't necessary for us to be an expert but we want to aim at being able to competently increase that person by what we do. We do this by first adding value to ourselves.

Adding value to ourselves is vital for anyone seeking to leave a legacy that impacts other people's lives. If we haven't taken the time to add value to ourselves then when it comes to helping another we will be ill equipped with what is needed to help them. How can we show another to overcome the most difficult of obstacles when we never do them ourselves? It would be a disaster to lead someone or attempt to lead someone where you haven't gone. It's not necessary to have gone through the same exact thing but we would do better to have some experience or training in what we wish to lead in. If we are being led we want the person to have experience in what they are talking about. No one wants to get into a car with a driver who doesn't have a license nor do we want to be a passenger in a plane where the pilot has had no lessons in flying. Without question to effectively add value to others we must become versed on what it is we wish to add to them.

Adding value to our family extends our hands and multiplies our mission. Personally I have to admit I didn't always understand this. In fact I remember several years ago I sat in a church I attended thinking "I'm going to help many people" and I just couldn't wait to get out there and preach what I thought I knew. Until one day it dawned on me that my household was not all it was cracked up to be. I was attempting to add to others without making sure my family had all I could give. The need to make myself useful to others clouded my vision. I somehow saw myself separate, all on my own and this in itself was thinking rooted in ego. My results were not good and I learned that if I applied the invaluable lesson of adding value first to myself and then those close to me I could be more affective. When we have taken the time to serve those closest to us with what we have there is a greater level of trust and respect given that can not come by any other way and in this we will find a real appreciation for who we are. If we can look beyond our own desires, to a fruitful outcome for all involved, when it comes to those we wish to help we will find clarity on how best to add value to those we love.

Even as parents there is a tendency to try to appear knowledgeable to our children or forget the things we did as kids. We take to the pulpit and preach to them before reflecting on our past and what it was like to be in their shoes. Instead of admitting we don't know what to do in some situations or perhaps shifting from an old mindset we hold our ground and decide to pull rank on our children. Our ego takes the bait and the opportunity to add to our child is lost. One might ask, how can this add value to them? One way to add value in a situation like this is to admit we might be stuck in finding a solution and then try to involve them in a search for a solution. Children are never as stupid as we think they are and we'd get much more respect from them if we solicited their opinion and valued it. Our ability to listen and learn will strengthen our ability to influence and increase the chances of adding value to them. Practising this will open the door for our children to come to us time and time again.

When our spouse is singing our praises, always unprovoked and the first to tell everyone how we can add value to others that is to us and those who are listening recognition from them, that we've added value to them. When our imput has helped our loved ones become a better person we can say we've effectively added to them. When our children seek our advice first above anyone else we know we have scored and when we are successful at adding value to our family and friends we will have established credibility and laid a foundation that will last. From this firm place of adding value we can confidently take it into our business, places of worship and wider community. Let's keep it going!

"When you add value to people you lift them up, help them advance, make them part of something bigger than themselves and assist them in becoming who they were made to be." ~ John C. Maxwell

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Donniece Greene-Smith

The Definitive Coach