What Will You Let Define You?

Whether we know it or not we make choices every day that define who we are and at times there is a tendency to surrender that truth because of circumstances we may face. It is real easy to pass on our responsibility regarding the choices we make to circumstance and our past however when we do this we are surrendering our responsibility. If we surrender our responsibility then we surrender any control or influence in that area. How often have we seen our friends and family in situations that seem to wrap them in chains and thought to ourselves they are the ones keeping themselves in that situation whilst they scream "I can't get out of this situation because of this or that"? I'm sure we've all been there and felt the frustration of their situation but then felt equally helpless because you couldn't change it for them. We can easily see what others have problems with but find it difficult to see our own building of walls.

The walls we create for ourselves no one can tear down. That is our job.

We can blame the government for not providing the opportunities.

We can blame our families for not providing the foundation we feel would have helped us in life.

We can blame all the past hurts why we are unable to move on.

We can blame just about anything to explain away our ability to change our circumstances but whatever it is we put blame to we must know we are at that moment being defined by those situations rather than defining how those situations affect us.

Sadly some people are bound by the views of culture and of family feeling desperately stuck and therefore find it difficult to be themselves and without realising it allow those views to define their life. Many people go to their graves having never expressed themselves because they feared that the person whom they really were, would be rejected when the only reason they were given life was to display that person they really was. They allowed their life to be defined by the views of others. Please note the words "they allowed".

We all make choices and often times in life we are presented with what seems like a problem and we don't know what to do. It is at this point that we must pay attention to what we are doing concerning this problem. Are we shifting the reality of this problem to someone else? Are we blaming the society for our problem? Are we blaming our family for our problem and them not being there? Are we denying that the problem exists? You see what we do, begins to define us and the truth is we are not aware that we are creating such defining moments in our life. If we really knew we were the ones responsible for how we respond to life's situations we would try much harder to give it our best. I'm sure we all heard those words before "it's not what happens to us but what happens in us that matters."

We all love watching those films were we see someone overcome difficult situations in their life by their sheer attitude and we think wow they are something special. Well I'm here to say we are all that way if we choose to be. That person who overcame their problems in life probably had no control over that problem occurring but they knew they had control over how they would allow it to affect them so they decided to allow it to make them better. If we look around us we see people making those choices every day. I know having to face life and the circumstances that it presents us with can be challenging but each time we overcome a situation by taking responsibility for our own decisions and its outcome we empower ourselves far above our current perspective.

When we take full responsibility for our views, the choices we make and our outcomes we grow stronger in dealing with life's challenges and strengthen our character and self image. We no longer see ourselves as weak and unable to deal with what life presents us. When we become empowered by our ability to decide what we let define us, we are not exempt from challenges but we are prepared and absolute on one thing and that is, that which happens to us will only make us better.

We are by nature creators and if we begin to think of ourselves in that way we can take comfort in knowing that we will create something positive out of everything in our life, imagine what power that gives us.

Today know that you are empowered to make your life better.

Problems to a mind that sees only solutions don't appear as problems but as new adventures. ~Donniece Greene-Smith

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Donniece Greene-Smith

The Definitive Coach

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